science of predilection

You're the origin periodic table of my life
I want you to be my wife
I need your love for the life time
Don't let me to make a crime

Hydrogen is the lightest element
I hope your love for me would be permanent
Hydrogen was placed on the upper left of periodic table
You and me were the perfect couple

I don't need the key information
All I need, your love, purity and devotion
All lessons of physics I ignored
But your love for me was uncensored

Science can explain everything
But this time, science can't explain my feelings
My methods are very common
So, don't let my heart go on...

Velvet Felicity

Intense bright light captures me
Trapped me in the eye of the sea
Velvet felicity hugged me so tight
Smiles were in my line of sight

Gloomy and empty faces don’t last
Dampen eyes will just walk to pass
Darkness made its way to subside
There was never a great divide

Vivid colors entered my soul
My heart was gleaming like jewel
Carved a beam and put me at ease
Painted me beautiful sceneries

Shinigami

I can see how devastated it become

The world is full of bloodshed

People are crying; soldiers are dying.

What can this war bring? Freedom?

I’ve been waiting for the lost souls;

Souls that lived with innocence and pleasance

No one should end this war for me;

For I am satisfied with this oblivion.

I am a girl, next to me is an evil

Grumble thyself and be remorseless

I want to see suffering.

From the depths of hell, I suffered and been reborn

Now, I’m ready for this revenge.

Happiness

Happiness is something that can’t be learned through books nor internet

 It is a feeling that is made for you and me

It is made to colour everyone’s life.

Don’t waste time crying

Just wipe those tears and smile

Cause the best smile

Comes after the melancholic part of our life

So let’s keep the happiest days in these notes.

the beast

Secluded in my tower

The face of monstrosity

Malevolent intention

Resides within my castle

Misguided light shines upon me

Sadness of the wishful death stars

Poured down on my skin making me sing

Cynical stories of fading will.

Rigidity of the curse kept me on living

My wretched thoughts tormented my heart.

All my life depends on these petals

Dyed bloody flowers of sinful ornamentals.

I did not want this but it’s too late to cry

I am an infidel in “There’s a hope on the sky”

My inexorable faith I wish it will change

The words that were written on the tablet

Will be replaced

Wanting to swerve this life

Waiting for someone to come inside

I tried my best to do this right

Will there be somebody

Who will visit me tonight? 

"24th Eve Wish"

Happy crusade of winter season is coming

I see it in the winter triangle’s constellation

Bubble bees is smiling on Orion

I smell its Christmas already.

What is this naive anxiety?

I smell the winter breeze along this quiet alley

I feel the spirit of happiness on their voices

But why my heart is still cold in deep?

In the main street

I see those sweet smiles of heaven

In these walls

I see families talking merrily

Do I have a family too?

If I had at least one

Why haven’t they come visit me?

Who I am now?

A ghost longing for a home

Met an accident decades of shadow years ago.

What is Christmas for me then?

When it is my death anniversary

A home I wanted to get by this Christmas

A home full of smiling faces until I see my light

A home pure of love and longing

I wanted to go home to that home someday.

Alchemist

Sky has been questioned
What is it to hope?
Can we find hope on the stars?
What prophecy is it to follow?

Is it destiny to start with?
or a mere reality to bear?
Journey is a life
Or Life is a journey?

In a simple text
I weighed life and death
But why,
I can not even find the answers

We are made
or we made we?
What is it to be?
What creed tell us to follow the Laws of Theorem?

Skies had been darkened by theories
Confused by different philosophers
What sky tells us who really are we?
For I am an alchemist who was built with curiosity?

For a Friend

Terrified, the word that catches my mind when i looked at your deserted eyes
It carries a pain in which no one could discern
It desires forgiveness but ignorance kills you even more.
What's for tomorrow is it then?

I could hear the outspoken heartache with your weary eyes.
the person i can't understand whether he is happy or sad
in your smile i say you are glad but in those eyes;
hides the untold truth of being hurt.

In a blank paper you wrote a letter to God,
A writing of ages heartache and burden
Tears are falling in your eyes but no one can interpret it.
emotions are filled but you can't just express it.

Are you afraid?
An err deserves forgiveness
So don't stay in your dark side and fake a smile
You deserve to be forgiven.  

"Unwanted"

Silent winter of summer lashes our hearts
no one can undo baneful things
Lifeless, i stayed in the shades of my own abyss
another chance is what i ask for.

broken mirror salvages my reflection
stands in a world full of illusion
holding the last picture of infatuation
a replica of my one old self.

cool breeze of sorrow enlightened my mind
leaving my footprints behind
the scars of unveiling truth torments
feels like imprisonment in Azkaban.
unwanted.

a day dreaming ...

THIS IS ACTUALLY UNRATED. This is actually a song title from Back-on, wow that group is awesome, and would you agree? Listen to them you’ll definitely love them just like Aqua Timez =) moving on; I’ll start this story with a snow! *_*

                “It was raining snow that time when he accidentally met me in the bench drenched with the snow that will almost kill me. “Hey, aren’t you cold?” he politely asked but I didn’t answered he suddenly joined me in my seat and he said “Wow, you’re stupid, are you? Haven’t you know sooner or later this snow will definitely kill you do you want that to happen?” and I finally answered “What do you care stranger? I have nothing to do with you.” He stared at me as if I was a criminal “Your tears are frozen, how long you’ve been here? Are you an orphan?” and I slapped away his hands “Leave me alone, please.” I pleaded and he stood up and said “This snow will get bad, in case you won’t stand in there… here you can have my coat instead.” And he left with a smile.”

“He left me with his coat, and I continued my stubbornness and stayed in that bench well that day is my birthday but no one of my family even friends remembered it and the man I trusted the most left me to chase his dreams that was the day I wished I was never been born but on the contrary, “Hey! You want to know what I hate the most, a person who never come to his senses and actually never do replies, geez am I unlucky today? Hey, are you alright?” and I began to talk “Hey stranger,” and he cut it off “My name is Hiro and you?” and I continued “I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone, you want to know why? Because the person I trusted the most left me to chase his dreams and actually none of my family members greeted me.” He got confused “Why? Is today your anniversary with that guy?” I shook my head and said “It’s my birthday today yet I feel so alone but even though I have someone to greet me this day was full of unlucky events.” And he blurted “WHAT?! It’s your birthday? Wait here.” He said and ran. After a few minutes he arrived with some I don’t know and he sang a birthday song. “Omedattou!” he uttered with a smiled “Phew, I’m Satoshi Sato and you are? It’s late but it’s nice meeting you, snow child.” And I wandered “Yukiko?” he smiled and said “Yes, Yukiko you are like a snow child, you seemed to be lonely so I’ll call you Yukiko.” And I finally introduce my name “I’m not Yukiko, I’m Shishido Ai thank you for today Satoshi-kun thank you so much.” And that was the last day I saw the owner of this coat.”

“Today was a fairytale I guess, the pile of snow in my backyard is now gone, spring has come and it’s the time I must move on, I kept Hiro’s coat in my bed room even though people would see it they won’t even care but thanks to him I had a different cycle on my 16^th birthday, I’m definitely looking forward to the day we meet again and that day I won’t show him disappointments. “A true friend will stand by you no matter how hard it is to stand; he will always be there for you to support and not to harm you. Things may change but a true friend will never change for you.” The teacher read a part of my literature piece and he denied it “Ms. Shishido I can not say this is your work you definitely google this but sorry I’ve already chosen someone better.” And I put up a fake smile “I understand sir. Thank you for giving me the chance to write something out of it which isn’t true at all.” And I left. I can’t understand the feeling of being denied but tears are falling straight in my eye I wanted to pull my self together and stop sobbing but the thing that I’ve experienced back then I just can’t pretend its okay. I continued walking and didn’t expect the same person on my back kept watching me. “Itai.” I exclaimed and he said sorry as I walked far from him “Ai!” he shouted my name I looked back and saw him smiling while waving his hands. “Satoshi-kun? What are you doing here?” I asked “I thought I’ll see you happy but still you are sad, what it is this time?” I shook my head “I’m not in the mood to smile. I have to go.” But he grabbed my hand and hugged me “It’s nice to see you again old friend it’s been 2 years since our meeting and I thought of you every single day of my life if you are already smiling then I moved in, across town and search for you and finally I found you old friend. Ai, long time no see.” And he smiled and I was shocked by the way he talked like we knew each for such a long time “Same here, but Satoshi-kun people are watching you can break free now you know.” He break free “Sorry, I just want to see you smile for a moment.” He murmured”

“Eh?! Can you explain this?” he handed the sheet of paper which I composed the thing that I am going to pass. “What the hell?! Where did you get this?” I asked “I had it last week when I saw it in your door, is it worthy for throwing?” he seriously asked “I didn’t pass so it is worthy of throwing.” I answered “Look, even the failed test papers I had I still kept them for me to laugh on when I’m alone, Ai-chan, why do you always feel loneliness? The world you know hasn’t completely betrayed you, has it?” I faked a smile “What are you talking about, chibi?” and he changed the point of view “I’m not small! I gain height from last week’s test. But can you please keep this you are great in writing, please?” and I nod “You are one kind of annoying person who wanted to get what he wants; whatever I’ll keep this.” And I smiled “Wow. That wasn’t fake, was it?” he asked “Who knows.”

"untitled"

the quiet night of spring makes me completely childish.
the song of Lullaby makes me come dear.
Thoughts of my angry past come go astray,
the stars veiled at night are being kindled with hope.

the passing of the great comes like roaring waves of heaven
where can i seek for loyalty?
If those loyal are dead and gone.
am i going to a naked war?

a sheer lamp doesn't consider being alone standing.
the light that stands as my guide had fled
is this the only thing that i can conjure?
the end of the summit has come;
am i going to leave or not?

i wish there was

A river of blood 

I fear not 

I am the strongest

Feel my wrath

I clenched my fist with rage

For you to see who's controlling the page

I will break, hunt and kill you

No matter what time or age

You will die in my blade 

You cannot escape this fate

For I am the God of war

I will be your death star